Nurse
by Heather Giesbrecht
Summary: Halloween, nurses and idiots, it would be an interesting night. Smith/Neo. Chap. 2 - Drag of 2 posted.
1. Nursing ?

**Nursing ?**

Smith walked along the full-moon lit street, orange and white lights hung from the short, white-plaster and redbrick buildings. Some humans walked around in costume, while blood-drinker or vampire programs, stalked amongst them._ 'At least, I don't have to protect the ignorant idiots unless I want to, now, thank-you, Neo. I wonder if he's around here somewhere ?'_

A female rebel's voice, he thought it was the Captain Niobe, but he'd never truly met her before so he could not be sure, "Wow, Neo, you know we weren't actually going to make you do it, right ?"

Neo responded with, "I know, Niobe, but still I prefer this to licking that damn pole of Sparks's."

_'Please, please do tell me that is __**not**__ an euphemism for something else. Here I thought the rebels had some decorum...and then I hear this; if that, somehow, is true that is disgusting, I am not bringing that up. Still, what could be preferable to that whatever it may be ?'_

Intrigued, he turned down an alley and walked into a little walled off courtyard. It was not Niobe in a toga that shocked him, oh no, it was Neo in the white 1970s nurse's uniform dress and hat that did it.

_'Ah, well, I was definitely not expecting this. Then again, if I didn't know it was him, he's so pretty and lithe anyway's, I probably would think he was a woman.'_

He asked with a chuckle, as he walked up, looking over the delicate feet in white-heels and the smooth, pale legs, "So, how is our pretty, little nurse this evening, hmm ?"

Niobe laughed before saying to Neo, "I told you so."

Neo looked between Niobe and himself then back to Niobe, before there was a blushing reply of, "Shut up, Niobe ! I'm fine Smith, thanks and how're you ?"

"Well, I must say it's quite entertaining to see the idiots finally dressing like idiots. Your and Niobe's costumes are only a few amongst the adults that don't bare an imbecilic amount of skin all over yourselves. Can you believe that some people had the gall to assume that I was in costume ? The day that I am FBI Agent, will be the day that you become a police detective, Neo."

"Pft, as if they'd take me...hey ! Where'd Niobe go ?"

That made both of them look around, the brown-skinned woman was nowhere in sight.

From on top of a building Niobe responded, "I've got a date to get to, but you boys have fun."

Neo ran a hand over his dress and muttered, "Should've known I'd get ditched. Are you actually doing anything tonight ?"

"Hmm, not really no. Did you want to see how jealous we can get people if they think you are female ?"

At that, Neo burst out laughing, "Oh god, that'd be awesome. Why didn't I think of that ?"

Slowly, he reached out a hand and answered, "Now that has a simple answer. You're far too nice to even consider it on your own, shall we ?"

The man nodded, then took his hand with another blush, they turned and started out of the alley. It made him wonder, "Did you use the 'regular' method or the longer method ?"

"Little bit of both really, when I was in highschool none of the girls wanted to help my Aunt Ellse with her modelling because they thought she was creepy, so I volunteered. It wasn't that bad despite what the idiots said about me, I actually kind of liked it. I just did a 'refresh' earlier that's all. Huh, when Niobe and I were walking here, because well you're in either a toga or a dress jumping isn't all that fun, some blond pirate guy called us, "A pair of stupid dykes." Plus, that guy was trying to steal people's girlfriends when they were obviously taken and didn't want to be bothered."

_'Well, I never imagined that when I wondered what happened to him before I met him, it is very interesting though. I think we know who we will be trying to fool first off.'_

When they got out of the alley, a few minutes later they'd walked a way's down and then a blond man in a ruffled shirt with a blue great-coat over top intercepted them.

Said man glared at Neo, "You finally did the right thing."

"Right thing ? Screw you, man. If she had actually been my girlfriend I would've punched you just now."

"Oh right, cause I'm so scared of you. Go on, hit me, I dare you. Hit me !"

A bright smile from Neo, then a punch, that was likely too fast for the guy to see, hit the man in the face, before the idiot crashed to the street.

_'I would have absolutely hated to see what would've happened if he'd gotten hit full force, it would have been far too hilarious.'_

"You bitch...you hit me !"

As Neo laughed at the man's outrage, it was his turn to answer, "You dared to get hit and got exactly what you asked for, imbecile."

It almost made him snort as the pirate got up and attempted to get in his face...too bad the idiot was four inches too short, "You think you're so hot don't you ?"

Neo interrupted, "Think ? Think, he is hot."

Blond sneered at Neo for that comment, "No, he's not, he looks like a run over frog."

_'Hmm, punch him or shoot him ? Punch him or shoot him ? Punch him, shoot him and then copy him ? Oo, I like that last one. I can't believe I used to sound that arrogant, do I still sound like that ?'_

"Really ? You think I look like a 'run over frog', but you're the one with a horrid attitude befitting a man who would run over the frog again just to make sure it is dead. Shall we ask some people for a consensus on who is the frog ?"

"What the hell is a 'consensus' ?"

Neo as he straightened his hat, murmured, "It means 'you're an idiot'."

He stared as the white-clad man sashayed over to ask a couple about 'helping' them out.

A few minutes later, Neo came back with a man in an 'armoured' samurai costume and a woman dressed as a geisha, they were introduced as Vern and Sally, while the pirate was introduced as Douglas.

Sally looked them both over, but before she could speak, Douglas huffed, "Their gonna pick me."

Annoyed, he growled, "Shut up."

Immediately Vern said, "Smith.", which was quickly followed by Sally's agreement.

Vern and Sally moved away, after which Neo pointed at him, "You no speaking, you're hard enough to resist without that so shush."

"**Hard** enough ?"

The nurse leaned over to smack his shoulder, "Shut up already, won't you ?"

"Of course, dear."

Exasperated, Neo huffed, "Ugh, I give up !"

Just then Douglas started poking Neo and staring at him, before exclaiming horrified, "You're a guy !"

"He has a brain cell, it's a miracle !", Neo and himself both burst into laughter as Douglas started backing away. Very unfortunately for him and in a fit of perfect Matrixian irony, Douglas backed into a heavily muscled, 6'7, ash-blond, but graying man dressed as little red-riding hood - he turned around, screamed like a little girl and promptly fainted.

Little red-riding hood asked, "What's his problem ?"

In between gasps Neo replied, "Apparently...he can't handle being, ha ha...dragged anywhere."

"Name's James, James Mcleod 'n I've been doing drag for a few years, say 'bout twenty-five."

Neo had suddenly gotten an odd look on his face, "No way, that's impossible !"

Mr. Mcleod's gray-eyes flicked from him to Neo and back, "What's up ?"

"You ever been to Ellse Anderson's ? Little place, it's got random bricks that're rainbow colored."

Recognition flooded Mr. Mcleod's face and he smiled, "Well, well, looks like little Tommie ain't so little anymore, eh ?"

"I sure hope I'm bigger than I was than or else I'm kinda short. I mean, c'mon, at 6'1 I'm already an inch shorter than Smith and now I'm six inches shorter than you."

"I think your Aunt Ellse hit you with the short stick."

"Oh ha ha, very funny, Ms. Silverman. Funniest thing I've heard all night."

"Eh, I'm just glad I could help you out -"

"Don't you dare..."

"Heh heh, short stuff."

With the words, "Mmr, men ! If I wasn't one, I'd never understand you.", Neo turned and stalked off.

Mr. Mcleod/Ms. Silverman smiled slightly, "Well, what're you waiting for, sonny ? Go tell him before you lose him."

He nodded, turned and ran after his nurse. _'It can't be lethal to just ask to go for breakfast right ? Now don't screw it up.'_ Except, of course, when he managed to catch up and stop Neo his thoughts refused to come out coherently, "I...ah, that is...would you want to...go for breakfast with me tomorrow ?"

Neo huffed and rolled his eyes, "I waited through two deaths just for you to ask me that. It took you long enough, you asshole."

"I take it that is a yes ?"

"You take anything else, but yes ?"

"A few things."

Again, Neo burst out laughing and shook his head, "You're so damn weird and sexy it's perfect."

That made him smile and they walked down the street into the lightening dawn.


	2. Drag

**Drag**

As Neo and Niobe walked into the middle of the brick-building surrounded courtyard, he smoothed the white nurse's dress._ 'I can't believe what a pompous jerk that guy was. What an asshole !'_

Niobe stared at him, "Wow, Neo, you know we weren't actually going to make you do it, right ?"

Wasn't really listening because he was staring at her toga, but when the words filtered through he answered, "I know, Niobe, but still I prefer this to licking that damn pole of Sparks's."

**Flashback**

He laughed as Sparks scowled, "Everybody still listens to the pole more than me. Fine, everybody who thinks I'm worth something can go in the Matrix, wear a nurse outfit and embarrass the crap out of themselves for me or you can lick the pole, all of it."

That prompted him to look over the blue-gray metal interior of the Logos' jack-in room, at the pole near the wall - the top part was clean, but the bottom was starting to rust. _'Yeesh, I'd rather wear that nurse outfit. That pole looks disgusting at the bottom. Besides maybe it'll be fun, again, like helping Aunt Ellse was.'_

"I'll take the outfit, Sparks."

The red-brown haired man snorted, "With that dismal attitude ? You'll never make it work."

**Flashback**

Tom looked from the mirror and red-haired Mrs. O'Toole, down at the silver skirt that Mrs. O'Toole's granddaughter, Missy, who was one of his classmates, had refused to come and show for her.

Of course, the idiot jerks had been teasing him about it and looking girly, but it was helping his aunt. Still, it made him mad that they figured they had to be jerk-asses about it.

An ash-blond, 6'7, drag queen who'd put on the sparkly, purple-dress his Aunt Ellse had made for her stepped up beside him. She smiled wa-ay down at him and said, "You know if you let your anger show you'll never make it work. I'm Ms. Silverman, your Ellse's nephew aren't you ?"

He blushed, "Yeah, I am. The kids in my class think it's stupid and I'm a freak."

"Well, little Tommie, at least, you've got a life, a nice aunt and some, heh heh, fabulous friends. You'll figure it out, yet, mark my words."

**End Flashback**

The memory made him chuckle, "Oh, I'll make it work all right."

Niobe punched his shoulder, "You just want to go strut around and fool Smith into calling you pretty. Trust me, he will do it."

Mock-glared at the brown-skinned woman as he rubbed his shoulder.

Morpheus smirked, "Well, I don't know if we'll let you now."

Niobe shook her head, "No, let him, I'll watch him for a bit. You guys will probably be watching him all night."

**End Flashback**

Both himself and Niobe startled as foot-steps echoed down the alley towards them. They both looked up as Smith in his regular black-suit walked up.

Said brown-haired ex-Agent raised his eyebrows, the dark drawl for once not being mocking, "So, how is our** pretty**, little nurse this evening, hmm ?"

The Logos' Captain guwaffed and grinned at him, "I told you so."

As Smith gave them a confused look, he thought,_ 'Oh thank god Smith doesn't know what the hell we're talking about. Uh, think of something doesn't sound stupid.'_

He looked between Niobe and Smith, blushing like crazy as he replied, "Shut up, Niobe ! I'm fine Smith, thanks and how're you ?"

_'Everybody's gonna have a field day with this when I get out.'_

Bright-blue eyes were annoyed as Smith started on a mini-rant, "Well, I must say it's quite entertaining to see the idiots finally dressing like idiots. Your and Niobe's costumes are only a few amongst the adults that don't bare an imbecilic amount of skin all over yourselves. Can you believe that some people had the** gall** to assume that I was in costume ? The day that I am FBI Agent, will be the day that you become a police detective, Neo !", by the time Smith finished, Smith was more animated than he'd ever seen him before, waving his hands around.

That thought of the police even considering him was hilarious, "Pft, as if they'd take me...hey ! Where'd Niobe go ?", he seen a flash of white as Niobe moved, but as he looked he couldn't see her anywhere.

Niobe called cheekily, from the building roof on their right, "I've got a date to get to, but you boys have fun !"

_'Oh, yeah she's got that date with Persephone tonight, doesn't she ? At least, someone will have fun. I don't really have anything to do, does he ?'_

Embarrassed as Smith looked back down at him, "Should've known I'd get ditched. Are you actually doing anything tonight ?"

Watched as Smith adjusted his right cuff-link and answered, "Hmm, not really no. Did you want to see how** jealous** we can get people if they think you are female ?"

_'Jealous ? Make them think I'm a girl ? Oh that'd be hilarious, I mean if Mr. Mcleod can become Ms. Silverman, why can't I fool people ?'_

Found himself laughing as he retorted, "Oh god, that'd be awesome. Why didn't I think of that ?"

Smith reached a tan hand out to him, "Now that has a simple answer. You're far too nice to even consider it on your own, shall we ?"

Slowly, he took Smith's hand as he nodded and turned to follow the ex-Agent. As they walked, he saw Smith watching him and then an interested, "Did you use the 'regular' method or the longer method ?"

**Flashback**

Tom grunted as he slammed down on his face then raised his head to look at his black-haired aunt and Ms. Silverman. He groaned, "Short ones for years and now once on a taller set on my own and I fall over."

Aunt Ellse chuckled and moved to help him up, "It'll take a while, but you'll get it. Everybody falls once or twice, heck, Jamie here almost broke her foot once on-stage because she fell."

**End Flashback**

Almost chuckled as the words rushed out, "Little bit of both really, when I was in highschool none of the girls wanted to help my Aunt Ellse with her modelling because they thought she was creepy, so I volunteered. It wasn't that bad despite what the idiots said about me, I actually kind of liked it. I just did a 'refresh' earlier that's all. Huh, when Niobe and I were walking here, because well you're in either a toga or a dress jumping isn't all that fun, some blond pirate guy called us, "A pair of stupid dykes." Plus, that guy was trying to steal people's girlfriends when they were **obviously** taken and didn't want to be bothered !"

About ten minutes later, they'd left the alley and wandered down the orange/white-lit street. He resisted a sneer as the stuffy, blond pirate walked up to them; also he resisted the urge to pull the ruffles off the idiot-jerk's shirt as the guy, even more arrogant that Smith in the interrogation room, "You finally did the right thing."

_'He's hitting on nearly every girl in sight and he has the audacity to say that to me !'_

Glared at the man as he spat back, "**Right** thing ? Screw you, man. If she had actually been my girlfriend I would've punched you just now."

When the pirate answered, "Oh right, cause I'm so scared of you. Go on, hit me, I dare you. Hit me !", he grinned and obliged, slamming his fist into the smug face._ 'That's for Niobe and the others.'_

Pirate exclaimed, after scrambling into a sitting postion, "You bitch...you hit me !"

_'Bitch ? Seriously, how can he not tell that I'm a guy ? I guess Ms. Silverman was right, if they don't want to see it, they won't see it.'_

That exclamation had him laughing too hard to make a retort, but Smith did instead, "You dared to get hit and got exactly what you asked for, imbecile."

Heard Smith's repressed snort as the pirate staggered up and was, rather comically, way too short to get in Smith's face, "You think you're** so** hot don't you ?"

_'Think ? Think he is hot.'_

Smith gave him an odd look and he realized he must've said it aloud because pirate sneered, "**No**, he's not, he looks like a run over frog."

Held a hand over his mouth to stifle the laughter as Smith said, incredulously, "**Really** ? You think I look like a 'run over frog', but you're the one with a horrid attitude befitting a man who would run over the frog again just to make sure it is dead. Shall we ask some people for a consensus on who is the frog ?"

"What the hell is a 'consensus' ?"

_'How about your face you idiot ? How do you not know what that is ? I'm pretty sure I already know what the answer is going to be.'_

Huffed as he straightened his hat which had started falling off, "It means 'you're an idiot'.", and started looking for people to ask.

Started toward a pair of people at the far end of the street - a man as a samurai and a female geisha. He waved them down and they stopped, "Hey, guys, my name's...Tommie, did you want to help me with something ?"

The man nodded, "I'm Vern, this is Sally. What'dya need ?"

"Hm, well, I don't know if you've run into him, but there's this asshole whose trying to steal people's girlfriends. Plus, if you ask me, he's ugly as anything and the guy thinks he can call Smith a frog. Smith's one of the best looking guys I know 'n I'm wondering if you guys will help me prove it. You up for it ?"

Sally nodded, some of her face powder flaking off as she replied, "We'd love to help, he tried hitting on my sister and called her a lesbian when she blew him off."

Anger coursed through him as he turned and started back toward Smith and pirate. Sally gave what sounded like a little, "Squee.", as she saw Smith. Then Sally murmured, "I'm Sally, Sally Moore."

The man answered in Japanese style - last name first, first name last, "Shannon Vern."

Turned out that pirate's name was Douglas, as if pirate deserved a fancy name like Douglas with his attitude.

Sally took a few minutes to look Smith and Douglas over, she opened her mouth to say something, but Douglas cut her off, "Their gonna pick me."

He shivered as Smith, deeper than ever in anger, growled, "Shut up."

_'Damn, he really does make anything sound hot. Not that I care, but I really should've told Smith not to cheat.'_

Vern and Sally both enthusastically agreed on Smith, before the two wandered off. Suddenly, feeling dramatic, he couldn't help pointing at Smith as he said, "You no speaking, you're hard enough to resist without that so shush."

Blushed as Smith spotted an innuendo, "**Hard** enough ?"

Tried to distract himself while he smacked Smith's shoulder, "Shut up already, won't you ?"

"Of course, dear."

_'He just...called me 'dear' and that didn't sound sarcastic. Does that mean what I think it does ? Still, does he have to have an answer for everything ?'_

Threw up his hands as he exclaimed, "Ugh, I give up !"

Minutes passed as Douglas started staring at and poking, he recognized the look of dawning horror and repressed his laughter as Douglas said, "You're a guy !"

He and Smith both countered, "He has a brain cell, it's a miracle !"

Douglas started backing away and he spotted a guy who looked kind of familiar dressed as little red-riding hood as Douglas backed into the guy. It made him smile and laugh as Douglas screamed and fainted.

"What's his problem ?"

Managed to gasp, "Apparently...he can't handle being, ha ha...**dragged** anywhere."

The graying man smiled in response to the joke, "Name's James, James Mcleod 'n I've been doing drag for a few years, say 'bout twenty-five."

_'James...Mcleod ? It couldn't be the same guy could it ?'_

**Flashback**

Raised his head to ask, "Aunt Ellse ?"

She looked down at him, "Yes, dear ?"

He ran a hand through his hair, embarrassed, but wanting to know, "What's Ms. Silverman's actual name ? I mean, I know it could be dangerous, but I'd never tell anyone bad, she knows that."

The short, black-haired woman smiled, "Oh she does, she's just been busy lately. His actual name is James Mcleod, he's one of the construction workers who helped build this place."

**End Flashback**

"No way, that's impossible !"

Mr. Mcleod's gray-eyes glowed, "What's up ?"

As he said, "You ever been to Ellse Anderson's ? Little place, it's got random bricks that're rainbow colored.", he looked closer at the man.

The response of, "Well, well, looks like little Tommie ain't so little anymore, eh ?", made him grin, it really was Ms. Silverman.

"I sure hope I'm bigger than I was than or else I'm kinda short. I mean, c'mon, at 6'1 I'm already an inch shorter than Smith and now I'm six inches shorter than you."

"I think your Aunt Ellse hit you with the short stick."

_'Did he really have to remind me of getting hit in the head with that dumb stick ? It hurt for weeks.'_

"Oh ha ha, very funny, Ms. Silverman. Funniest thing I've heard all night."

"Eh, I'm just glad I could help you out -"

_'Don't tell me, she's gonna start with the short jokes again ?' _ That made him mutter, "Don't you dare..."

Ms. Silverman grinned and continued, "Heh heh, short stuff."

With the words, "Mmr, **men** ! If I wasn't one, I'd never understand you.", he spun on his heel, turned and walked back the way they'd come.

Minutes later, Smith caught up with him, "Neo !"

_'He said my name ! He said my na-me.'_

He stopped and turned to look at those blue-eyes, smiled as Smith said, nervously, "I...ah, that is...would you want to...go for breakfast with me tomorrow ?"

_'Aw, he's messing up, he's never messed up before. Fuck, it only took over two deaths and years to get a breakfast date !'_

"I waited through two deaths just for you to ask me that. It took you long enough, you asshole."

It surprised him when Smith grinned, "I take it that is a yes ?"

"You take anything else, but yes ?"

"A few things."

_'Oh man, he actually said that. I didn't even know he knew about innuendo. Maybe it'll be a bit weird, but he's toned down the I'm-so-better-then-you arrogance, lately.'_

Half-surprised laughter left him as he shook his head, "You're so damn weird and sexy it's perfect."

As they started walking, again, he looked back over his shoulder to see Ms. Silverman waving at them. Smothered fresh laughter as he waved back to his old friend. _'Breakfast is gonna be damn near perfect, all thanks to her.'_


End file.
